Black Coffee

Two cups of coffee this late at night. Its 12:15, man this cant be good.

I have always been told to follow my dreams, but I have realized that in the processes of following my dreams. . .I dont know what they are.

Perhaps one day I'll write a book or possibly teach and inspire others.

All around us we are bombarded with things like "Be the change you want to see in the world".

We comprehend these things, but do we really know what they truly mean?

I dont think we do.

We skate on through life. Doing things mechanically. Without thinking. We need to grab life, wrestle it down, and make it our own. Forget what our parents say, what society says. Forget the preconceived notions of our family and what they think we should be and do. Be your own person. Be who you were meant to be.

I am here to do what is best for me. Ah, now what is best for me? You will see one day. One day you will know me. This frustrated, 21 year old, college student will be no more. In her place will be a woman who had stepped up to the plate and beat the odds. A woman who is everything SHE thought and said she would be. Not in accordance with what her parents and family and friends thought and said. But she lives her life according to her dreams and aspirations.

Inside this precocious, sweet and charming girl is someone who is ferocious and cut throat. She will stop at nothing to get what she wants. (one cup down, one to go) I am constantly underestimated because I am a sweet, nice girl. I hate that. but maybe I can use that to my advantage. Who knows, guess yall will have to wait and see.

(ooooo caffeine buzz)

Ya know, maybe i'll be a writer. Its almost an entirely romantic thought. its smoking jackets, and fountain pens with leather bound books and coffee stains. :) It makes me happy to think of myself like that. The struggling artist. Man is that romantic, in a falling in love in a small town in the fall and cuddling by the fire with a good movie or book, sort of way.

As I smile to myself, I realize that I have all these dreams and aspirations and I am so happy that they have not all be squashed out of me. I have so much fire and so much passion and I just want to share that with someone. Whether it be my soul mate or who ever! I just want to share the passion I feel for all these things with someone or a group of people. If it werent for this group of 5 people that I constantly turn to, I'd have lost my mind ages ago. So thank you, Nick, Rachel, Nathan, Josh and Chris. You are my best friends and you believe in me. You have been there for me and you have all believed in me. Some of you, I have literally cried on your shoulders. So thank you.